Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Can't do nothing write

I hate to publicly announce these things for fear I'll jinx it, but I'm studying to take the GMAT. Why is this relevant, you ask? Because, through my studies, I've realized that I have no idea how to write or speak English.

This sucks. Now I find myself second guessing everything I say... er, write... er type. So if you've written to Paco Collars in the past few days and have noticed my e-mails seem as bland as oatmeal, well you can blame the GMAT. Singlehandedly the test prep has turned me from confident wordsmith to watch-my-mouth-Sally.

It's like that day in Jr, High when I thought I was so cool because Kate and I were wearing matching outfits: teal Sonoma County Fair shirts and white shorts (bet you can't guess where this is going). During lunch a girl I barely knew came up to me.

"Hey, did you just have art class?"

"No, I'm not in art," I replied, and a bit like a braggart since I kind of fancied myself an accomplished artist at the time... I could draw horses better than anyone I knew.

"Oh. Because you have a little, um, red on the back of your shorts."

The problem is that I was too embarrassed to tell any of my friends I had started my period a few months earlier. And I never brought any back-up protection because I was so afraid someone would discover a big old pad in my bag and, therefore, find out I'd started my period. So I kept my mouth shut and suffered the rest of the day in utter embarrassment, never going to the nurse or asking a pal for a tampon, slinking around and hoping no one looked at me or noticed that the sweater around my waist was developing a little red stain as well.

Occasionally you experience something in life that removes every shred of self-confidence you have, and that's what I'm suffering write now. I mean *right* now. Damn.

Oh well. I've got a new little toy coming soon that should take my mind off of my inability to grasp the English language. And it's finally an excuse to use this pic:

Pyramid Paco

This was only taken four years ago but it seems like a snapshot from the wild, wild west.


Bennett Samuel Lin said...

I was going to comment a few posts back that you don't "lay" down, you "lie" down. But I didn't want to come off like some Grammar Nazi.

Your writing is pretty good, though. I mean, you're a busy person, and yet you blog a lot. For the relatively short amount of time you probably spend doing it, your writing is pretty good. I would have stopped reading your blog by now if it weren't.

You don't want to become like me. I spend way too much time nitpicking over the smallest details. I'll spend ten hours making just one thing way better than it needs to be, when I could have spent one hour making ten things simply good enough. It's the law of diminishing returns.

Why are you taking the GMAT? Are you going back to school?

ana poe said...

Hey, man, I'll "lay" wherever I want to. <--- look, that's bad.

Shanda Drawdy said...

If you have iTunes there are a whole bunch of free podcasts that you can download for study. I used a couple for my GRE prep and they were helpful, also pretty interesting. There is one from a guy named DJ something, he's really witty (and probably high, I swear I heard a bong in the background) but his vocabulary tips were the best.

Just before I got the word "write" tattooed on my right wrist I was looking at it too much (hey, it's a funny looking word, really), so that when the artist put the carbon on my hand I suddenly froze in fear. In a strangled voice, I said, "Wait! I spelled "write" right, right?" Brian looked at me for one cool moment, then said, "Correct."

I absolutely LOVE this damn language!

ana poe said...

Ooh, send me the info (name/title, etc) and I'll look it up. Sounds like perfect commute listening. Just e-mail to the PC address.

The word that gets me is "strength"... when designing the company logo I spent many hours staring and wondering if I was about to immortalize a misspelling.

home2k9 Alpha said...

That photo is going to look amazing on your little project, I love it!