What a difference two months make

It's been exactly two months since Paco died but it seems like much longer. It's like a whole lifetime has passed.

Today I am two things I never thought I would be: a store owner and a small dog person. Let's tackle these one at a time...

I cannot even begin to explain what a relief it's been to create the new store. Finding out we got the space just days after Paco died picked me up out of my despair and forced me to create something in Paco's name. Here is the result (please ignore the mop bucket on the floor, this was the evening before we opened... also ignore the fact that Paco Collars products are prominently missing from the shot, they're behind you, er, behind the photographer):

It's funny because I've never aspired to have a store. In fact, a few years ago a friend offered to have me inherit her retail space while her business moved to a larger location and I declined. I didn't want to be stifled by the hours, the public eye, etc.

But that was then. Now I feel this opportunity came at the right time. I think we, as a company, are ready to take that leap and the retail space we've made is a total refection of who we are. It's weird, but it feels like a second home. Even Xochitl has her little produce crate in the window from which she sunbathes and watches people go by all day long. Which leads me to my next point: I am a small dog owner.

Now, when we got Xochitl she was supposed to bridge that gap between Paco and Pirate, the cat. But with Paco gone she's now taken the role of primary dog, and the experience trips me out beyond belief. I mean, I'm a "small dog owner" now. I walk her around, worrying more about people stepping on her than running away in fear (which they should, actually). By necessity, I have to dress her up when it's cold. It's true, Paco had an extensive wardrobe but that felt normal. Now it just feels like I'm dressing up a doll.

I also have to deal with a temperament that's totally foreign to me. I'm used to unflappable, people-loving pit bulls but little Xdog is wary of strangers and likes to bark at random things. We're tackling each of these issues with much success, but it's a full time job, especially given the seeming randomness of each act. For instance, she won't even flinch at a wheelchair going by but will bark at someone who just gave her a treat. And let's not even get into children... she *does not* like them. At least she can walk by a stroller now, something she was unable to do without raising a major fuss before.

But she's totally great around other dogs... go figure. Guess you can't have it all.